"Reality" and all separate lives are the same thing?... We all have separate realities?! My life Has one reality and yours has another?
Haha how much did you smoke
4 feet of smokeee!
Yeah but if I do that, I'd have to buy my own stomach pump for the house. That doesn't seem like a great thing to have sitting on the coffee table.
Best walk of shame ever. Not only did I not remember his name or the fact that we fucked, they all watched as I tried to get into 3 cars that werent mine
Oh and I threw up on myself...
For using a life jacket as a pillow, I slept pretty good last night...
I vomited in the sink and my bra was in there...I don't even have words to describe this hangover confusion
not exactly restoring sanity, but he is throwing up on the national mall right now
He just said "fuck you" to the bowl he's eating things out of
What's that word that means bigger and smaller and bigger and smaller, again?
Goddamn it, Jaime, it's 4am. Throbbing. The word is throbbing.
I just found out via Facebook that my old dorm room is now the free condom distribution room on campus...IT'S LIKE THE UNIVERSE KNOWS!
At this point I think you're just judging my taste in men
Nah I've been there. The worst you'll see is some hobo peeing in a sewer at 3 am on a Saturday
all i know is there's a picture on my phone of him wearing my purple sweatpants and licking the bottom of my foot.
My trash can accurately represents my weekend: Bojangles wrappers and magnums.
I passed out while searching "symptoms of narcolepsy"...
im gonna miss him. and by him, i mean his dick
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