STUCK IN CAPS. WANA GET AFTER IT TOMORROW?
she pooped in my shower. pooped. woke me up and said she thought she farted but it wasnt a fart i went back 2 sleep and found it hours later. no longer hooking up w chicks my moms age.
drugs are my only escape from this reality. good thing I got it at a discount price last night
Before we started fucking, he laid me on the bed, and asked my what my sleep number was, so that i would be "comfy"
This is random, but did i give u a handjob in the middle of the night or was that a dream?
You seriously need to keep doing my sexting for me. I just said something about "riding cock like a dick rodeo"
and then some norwegians asked us to be in their porno.
I ate her out for so long I might actually shit a vagina
2nd year in a row being a arrested before school starts...tradition at its finest
I also turned off the Anchorman DVD start menu before cause I didn't want Will Ferrel watching me lose my virginity.
My one night stand said I love you, opened my fridge, stole my cream cheese and left.
She's the prison bitch to my Martha Stewart.
I hate political talk. I just wanna get fucked into an alternate universe where Bernie Sanders is president.
dude if looks could fuck you two would've been naked in front of everybody
My roommate made maccoroni last nigh dropped the bowl off the counter knocking it into the dog bowl he picked up the dog bowl and started eating it claiming it was te worst Mac and cheese ever and if he wasnt so high he would stop eating it hahahaha
Randomize
