I'm a grown ass woman and I'm sitting in bed eating pizza at 4:30 a.m. BFD, right?
In honor of tonight, my penis will make an appearance
why do they call them blowjobs? ....unless i'm doing it wrong?
Revelation of the day. Bulimia is dumb. Anorexia is easier.
You suck.
lets be honest. she's not NEARLY as much fun to fb creep since she got out of rehab...
you really need to stop getting laid in my dreams more than i do.
I've shit my pants 4 times in 12 hours... Never trust a fart when u pass 30
i fucking swear, saying shit like "i dont get jealous" is like personally inviting your slutty friend to fuck the guy you slept with like a month ago
I have visions of guys in cheetah costumes with suits over it pissing on a children how are you
Remember when I made out with that stranger at the bar on my 21 in chicago? I wonder how he's doing
I wonder if Paul and Andy realize how lucky that they are that we're too lazy to start fucking other dudes so we just stick with them
He caught me mid-escape...one leg out the window, bra n thong in hand.I just looked at him and said "Bye Now" n proceeded to fall out his window....then.... tell me why he texted me 30 min later to make sure i got home ok! #igotthis
I've come to the conclusion that my issue is I'm not fucking a guy with a headboard
RUDE you're the one missing half a nipple...
IT HEALED AND GREW BACK TO BE A FULL HEALTHY NIPPLE OKAY
His junk had piercings everywhere. The dick and balls. It was a fucking pirate penis.
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