My hand turned me down
the not having weed thing wouldnt be nearly as tragic if it wasnt the one holiday where they launch bright flaming things into the air
What are you wearing to our high school reunion?
I don't know, What kind of dress says "I feel sorry for you people?"
he wanted to have me eat skittles off of his body. he mad gay sex even gayer.
I wish i could 80s montage me losing weight
I legitimately just tried to piss above my head. I got to my chest at highest. There's piss everywhere.
just found a piece of pizza in my dresser.....i remember you saying you were going to save one for later so i'm assuming this is your doing
Yeah he's definitely gonna feel that one when he wakes up. I beat the shit out of him with that broom handle.
No really tho I'm wearing a chucky cheese shirt and yoga pants. If that doesn't scream no sex idk what does
Will it be a clothes optional week when I get there? I have an amazing outfit of tattoos and toenail polish planned.
You fed me pizza off a sword last night.
You lit a fire in my vagina no man can extinguish.
I ate her out in the bathroom and she did my makeup. Man i love being a lesbian
The first thing I did in 2015 was suck a dick.....so.....
found a thong and $20 in my right pocket. it's going to be a good day
Randomize
