Just checked, might have creepy crawlies. What does chlamydia feel like? Not near wireless to consult webMD.
We were so bored at work tonight that we were in dry storage taking turns pouring the boxed wine we use for cooking into each others' mouths. I think I'm starting to understand the "problem" aspect of "drinking problem."
I'M GETTING MARRIED!
YOU'RE STILL MARRIED!
You've picked up chicks by quoting metal bands
When they're drunk they believe it's Shakespeare...enjoy the simple things
Stop making all the ice cubes only big enough to fit in your bong. It takes like 3 trays for a glass of ice water
Always thought my first night in jail would consist of fire and a bunny suit.
do you actually have a paper bowl full of broken glass and ecstasy or was that just a dream?
Tonight's trip to the ER was brought to you by, "fork jousting."
Ong my arms are moving wo my consent
Guess who's the proud owner of her very own foxtail butt plug!!
All I want for my birthday to be fingered and eat pizza
You go to class with the flu but don't go when it rains... Get your shit together
Im goin to jail bro ill talk to u sun
My boss spotted an injured PIGEON outside the front door this morning (at 3:30am) and requested that I catch it and take it to the vet. Catch it with what! Take it where!These requests have gone too far...
Although, she is an extremely cool person. She put the "buddy" in "fuck buddy." And I mean that in the most respectful way possible.
Randomize
