i'm as serious about my hair as jesse from full house.
that is uncle jesse to you, show some respect.
I wish you could buy pregnancy test at the liquor store, it's the only place I feel comfortable being a disgrace because I know they understand why it happened...
He used my blackberry to make a voice recording of me orgasming, then set it as my ringtone while I was sleeping. I discovered this during a staff meeting this morning.
it was like i was on a global safari of uncircumcised men
he tried to catch his projectile vomit...then went back to beer pong
The girl beside me at the laundromat is bitching a guy out on the phone for jizzing on her bedspread. She had to use a triple machine to wash it.
that's where you went wrong. never assume I'm adult enough to do something on my own.
Ladies and gentlemen, the only person I know who would keg stand in pearls and a bow.
you smell like cheap hookers & chicken nuggets.
Mom said it is up to us to plan Thanksgiving. Hooters or Scores?
Or???
Word to the wise, never look up your hot young doctors on Facebook before you're discharged. You will find things and no longer be able to take them seriously.
But I don't see you as the jesus riding a dinosaur with a machine gun type of guy
A guy who takes a plate of chicken tenders away from us is not to be trusted or slept with
So I thought you might like to hear how I went to sams club to print some pictures and suddenly there was 20 pictures of your dick and my snatch on the screen
What? No, wine isn't my weakness, I just love it.
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