I miss you. Just wanted to say that before the drugs kicked in so it's legit.
I'm 90% sure a girl here is wearing a bra strap as a headband.
Today in psych we learned that you are a whore.
Me specifically?
Yep.
just bought 2000 rhinestones and a heart shaped stencil at Micheals...I think the cashier knows i'm Vajazzling
Just ran interference for her again. Sometimes i wonder how many times in my life i'll have to be a cock block at the clinic
Some rando is vomiting profusely into the garden outside the employee entrance. Where are you when things like this happen to me?
Vomiting outside the employee entrance
Aqua-barf. When you are about to puke in the toilet but pass out face first instead...and then puke. WITH YOUR FACE IN THE BOWL. There is no escaping the puke ring you have on your face. I know first hand.
I'm gonna cougar town the shit out of that prom.
College: when you have to set an alarm to start drinking
We went to the casino to try to earn enough money to go to new Orleans comfortably. I'm already drunk. This is a horribly immoral start to summer.
No foreplay. Missionary. Too quick. And he owns a fedora.
I almost fell asleep reading that.
I almost fell asleep fucking it.
There are both cum and chocolate stains on my sheets. Can't decide whether this is a new low or a new high.
Also, there's a guy walking around the kitchen in a shark onzie, and he just asked if we've ever smoked weed with a shark before. I'm dying
*6am blends another margarita* *615am blends straight tequila*
Buying a new pipe this morning, and setting up career plans this afternoon. It's called balance
Randomize
