have you ever noticed that homeless people never have acne. suck it proactive
Met some locals. They are taking me to a place where there is topless bullriding. I love this country.
I woke up 25 minutes ago and have been high for 20. Impressive?
He kept pouting and saying i cockblocked him and I kept yelling "I'm sorry...but the cock was never out to be blocked"
Batchelotette party success. I woke up on the floor in nothing but a thong, a garter and a shirt that says Just Do Me.
My friend wants your phone number so you can teach her how to take a beer bong. She saw you doing them last night and got jealous.
Just tell her to open her throat. I don't want to talk to anyone who is jealous of someone who woke up this morning with a cat in their shirt as a result of that glorious beer bonging skill.
He stopped his car in the middle of ongoing traffic to ask me to marry him. Then he got pulled over. Yeah I'd say the slutty Dallas Cowboys costume was a success.
Your hotness may or may not have landed him in jail.
You don't know reunion panic until you've exfoliated your butt cheeks.
Meanwhile I'm googling glory holes in Vegas
Adulthood is making your own puke bucket.
Sorry for trying to baptize you last night
You knew the entire thing in Latin I was so impressed
it was cool until he whispered 'sounds like you need a good dicking' with a completely serious face and i just lost it
3 cups of coffee and some molly. The "Tay's Day Off Diet"
And I hope you're not misinterpreting us fucking as me trying to win you back. The sex is good and girls have needs.
You’ll lick BBQ off my cock but no ketchup on a hotdog?
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