laying in bed listening to christian music, jealous of the hope they have for their life. also need to beat off, can i think about you?
ya and he came three minutes into it because he didnt have sex all summer
oh that makes more sense i knew you arent that good
Getting blown during the Cavs game doesn't make it any less depressing.
She left me a voicemail too. It's just her moaning her name repeatedly
Your ability to be a slut in your nightmare astounds me
someday when you wake up in a dumpster we'll have to have this conversation again...
u r missing out we r watching a tranny direct traffic in a gstring
she did 8 shots of vodka. THROUGH A SIPPY STRAW
I have got to meet this girl.
She said pants are for pussies while spooning peanut butter onto her frosted flakes with a serving spoon. She's not even high yet.
sometimes, you gotta take him by the hands like tails took sonic, and fly him into the bedroom.
I just ate beer and cupcakes for breakfast.... maybe this fourth of july won't be so bad
Should I get the rainbow boxer breifs???
As your boyfriend, this is a level of gay that even I can't handle.
Discovery: there is a folder in my pictures labeled "Your Name and cats"
I just have to decide what I love more, food or dick.
I'm twenty nine years old, now is not the time to start trying new drugs. I need a hedge fund...not another drug-induced hangover.
Randomize
