Please forgive me. I will pay for your emergency room visit.
I'm sitting here watching a kid lick a basketball- where have i gone wrong in life?
someone owes me an orgasm
What a good family we'd make, him and I and our kids and his good dick.
Think I can pull off edward 40 hands before class?
You might end up in the wrong class.
I'm a COM major, they're all the wrong class.
max decided it would be a good idea to run down the hall and smack down the exit sign. now we are sitting in the emergency room, and he is wearing the sign as a bracelet
he congratulated me on my ability to grow long hair after pulling it to see if i had extensions
who started the 'put a scrunchy' around his balls' game?
BTW, you ever shave a dick into my dog, I'll cut you. I'll laugh first, but then I'll cut you
He is sitting on the foor in the soup aisle saying "to each their own soup"
I be dancing. See you soon. You can drink tequila from my pants.
i don't know why he's complaining, i'm the one with four hickeys on my ass.
Hey, taking organic chemistry means no one is allowed to tell you you're partying too hard.
when in doubt, mount your coworker in the staff room.
Theres a handprint of sauce on my fridge, one on my face, and a trail of it leading to my bedroom, and sauce all in my bed, and I have no idea what the fuck i ate.
Randomize
