How do i ask the guy i made out with for 4 hours if he is gay? He keeps telling me i'm so adorable and that he had a ''blasty''
I hope mine doesn't look like that
saturday- my day is open, my legs are not. you in?
well apparently not.
I fucked the bump it out of her hair. just had to let everyone know.
Forever 21 now has a maternity line. Even more of an incentive for me to get pregnant at a young age.
Rent Disney Oceans. Smoke a bowl. Fast forward to the seal section. Then call me.
im hiding in a corner. drunk. with a plate of stolen jello shots. im pretty sure people are looking for me or the jello shots.
everyone at work keeps looking at me like they know I got the herp this weekend
Steve just broke his bong and some kid in an american flag bathing suit and no shirt just fell down the stairs. Its dangerous here
The yoga party turned into an underwear party because we are all incompetent when it comes to tying bed sheets.
This has been a Party Success Story
WHEN JENDA BENDA THE DRAG QUEEN TELLS YOU TO RUN, YOU RUN, BITCH!!!
I walked in on him pumping himself up by headbanging to the drumbeat from Jumanji.
Very unfortunate to find out the kid who took your virginity has never seen Star Wars🙃
His sister gave me the "if you hurt him I will break your neck" talk. I didn't know how to tell her we're not a couple.
The one time I decide to bring people over you are laying naked on the coffee table watching the ceiling fan cause "it just moves so fast" I'm guessing you got paid today??
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