Awesome, the library of congress archived all tweets. Now my great great grandchildren can pinpoint the date they inherited alcoholism.
he made a joke about you fucking his daughter...i think youre golden
In an m&m suit playing manhunt drunk. And you thought you werent guna have a good time
This girl did not understand, once police sirens go on, road-head needs to STOP
I'd say I should re evaluate my life choices, but I'd make the same decisions only faster and wearing a push up bra.
This girl has a mullet weave. I missed oakland.
For gods sake, I only took one. With two nyquils. What a happy world its been today. Fulfill your obligations and then its marvelouso.
I puked on myself in front of a customer. all. over. myself. thanks Saturday nights
Currently trying to figure out if the guy has a cane next to me or brought a weird dildo to the bar
I'm sorry for gagging during our first time having sex
I was drunk
Please answer
It has moved into the cliche "thin line between love and hate" real quick. With her. Not Taco Bell.
I just faked an orgasm while masturbating. Idk what exactly my problem is but I have one
I feel like a pile of chihuahua shit that got eaten by a Great Dane who puked it up and then set it on fire.
dude, you ran into a window then asked ME what the fuck I was doing.
last night i was way too drunk and i was forcing people to let me tell them about mammals
Randomize
