dinner at cheesecake factory: $40. drinks at yard house: $50. having sex in the VG parking lot while people are staring at you awkwardly: priceless. Goodnight.
i swear to god, this restaurant is playing a john tesh cover of a song from aladdin
What do you think that old couple was thinking when they saw me puking in the QT parking lot at ten in the morning?
I would just like you to know that the guy I blew off last weekend to come find ur drunk ass just got drafted into the major leagues.
Moment of silence for the loss of that option.
btw found the cat. he didn't appreciate the toilet bath.
We ran out of ice cubes so I used ice cream. Everyone thought that was the plan all along. I just went with it.
I don't know what possessed you to do that, but you have to give the stripper more money before you try to check her oil or they are going to throw us out every time you do that.
It's been a year of occasional hook ups....this was bound to happen sometime even with your jank ovary schedule.
Nothing says "Good Morning" like Jell-o shots and coffee cakes.
so i ran into nick. i may be more gay than anticipated
It's hot as dicks out. Lets get drunk on the roof and make pterodactyl sounds at people.
Well I'm about 60% wine, 30% pure rage and 10% tears at the moment and I'm disappointed in how little alcohol is in me
She had sex with a starfish painted on her face. Thank you Halloween
The last thing I need is a possessed urethra.
It was a fun night! I woke up with a boyfriend, again....
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