Just cleaned up my puke with my lecture notes.
I woke him up and he was mumbling something about it being moist, or he peed himself but it was okay.
I have invented a new sport: freshman-watching. I'm sitting on our porch literally dying watching the freshmen run around trying to find parties
One day. I will touch his hair. I'm curious if it'll be like a soft cloud.
I just don't know the best way to tell him I think I saw him in a porn. I mean I got off to it, isn't there some level of awkwardness there?
We were so hungover we fell asleep in Goodyear waiting for them to fix her car. At 4 in the afternoon on a Sunday. The workers apparently didnt want to vacuum because they didn't want to wake us.
If the river was whiskey, it would be the best river ever.
I just told the sun to stop. That hungover.
I just spent 12 consecutive hours in the same outfit and none of it was pajamas. If that's not personal growth, I don't know what is.
Take a shit and have a hit. It's the Sunday Funday Rule.
Your vagina felt like having sex with thanksgiving mashed potatoes. The best kind of mashed potatoes
I will most likely miss you the least and fondly remember you as Mr. "I need a minute" but really need 24 hours and 4 extra inches.
As you were leaving you yelled at the owners that the stairs weren't suitable for "intoxacapated" people and promptly fell down them.
So I WAS right.
woke up hungover this morning lying in a water raft covered in water.. i dont know if i should consider this good or bad
i don't think the phrases "so shitty" & "taking care of my newborn" should be combined in the same sentence. leave it to her to make it possible eh?
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