Sitting at a red light. Windows are down. I'm blasting Gaga's "Disco Stick" and doing an interpretive dance to it because I think I'm hilarious. Look to the left and see two Phi Delts that I know with their windows down. They are horrified. I am probably going to lose their Facebook friendships.
Proposition. Sex. No words, no talking about it later. I just want you tonight.
I lost of the blow last night. Found it later in my bag labeled Fairy Dust.
the only reason why im excited to go home for break is to finally eat real fucking food and have normal bowel movements.
Problem: At home sick with a stomach virus. Solution: smoke weed all day...
It's 3 am and my parents just came up the driveway in a limo. They didn't leave in a limo. I'm scared to even ask.
If I get over there and the april fools joke is that there's no HBO, I'm setting fire to the place.
my grandpa is going down the line on this prom picture, and telling me how big everyone's nipples are... he was spot on for me.
HEY. That drawer full of booze in my dorm room also has aspirin and Tums in it. So don't tell me I don't care about health.
Was I at least a good cuddler? Like at least honorable mention?
I think once you know a guy's chest measurements the stalking has gone too far..
all a girl really needs is a few good pair of leggings and a drug dealer that delivers.
So high I legit spent 20mins in the shower just holding my tits cuz they feel bigger than normal.
He made me come so hard I punched another hole in the wall mid orgasm.
I'm not fixing this one for you. Do it your own damn self.
I'm a delicate orchid of a man.
Blossoming into a fierce dragon.
Randomize
