I took both his daughters virginities. There's no way he won't give me a job
I SWALLOWED her nuva ring. Please tell me how your night could have been worse.
i think he drugged the pie. i'll get back to you on that later.
You do realize I got a panda tattooed on my ass just to get you laid, right?
I'm just saying, margarita tuesday would turn anyone gay.
I was running around taking people's drinks at the bar and just dumping it into my Gatorade bottle screaming roofies.
Got a traffic ticket on the way home.. Literally cost me $171 to give him a blowjob. I swear the officer could smell the cum in my hair.
My bathing suit kept falling whenever I went under a wave and this kid caught on and kept checking them out so I told him nothing comes free $5 a boob
Jesus Christ that hit just spoke to so many levels of my soul. It's caressing them softly
Well ill be drunk so just come find me. Its like where in the world is Joey San Diego
Finally met a man who appreciates my beer pong skills, definitely a keeper for the weekend
He left weed in my bong for me this morning. What a guy.
I feel like that xmas present negates everything we were taught as little girls. Putting out DOES pay. God bless us everyone
I think people are normalizing furries
I guess she found the pillow case full of vomit I hid last night: "Oh my God. Oh my God. In my fucking FRIDGE?! Really? Hope your dick falls off there's puke all over my food. Fucking die."
Randomize
