I woke up in a strange girl's bed and rifled through her mail to get her name.
On a side note I can sing drakes “best I ever had” so good you’d think I was on degrassi.
You have to stop making references to your extense knowledge of 13 year old girl television programming for me to believe you aren’t homo. The Bravo line-up was one thing, but seriously
I woke up from my nap, looked out my window, and saw about bout 6 people get tasered in less than 20 seconds.....could someone please tell me what's going on.
my knee is completely bruised from kneesliding into the bowling ball. bowling for creativity points was a win
'Twas I. Do you have any idea what it's like waking up to see you sent a text inviting someone to partake in "sexy rumpus?"
LEAVE MY LITTLE DICK OUT OF THIS
He said he wanted to make me his Twinkie, "filled with his delicious cream." ABSOLUTELY 100% NO YOU MAY NOT REPEAT ****NOT**** GIVE HIM MY NUMBER EVER EVER EVER. Please confirm receipt and full comprehension of this message.
There are very few times i will succumb to laying naked on my bathroom floor. But lastnight is a resonable enough cause.
Which I'm also surprisingly fine with. If he walked into the bedroom naked, holding a fish in one hand and a lit candle in the other and said "Let's get fucking weird." I'd probably go with it. He's just that hot.
Um, would you be up for dick jousting? Stefanie is willing to pay 40 bucks.
It's 1pm, she's in the shower, I don't have the guts tell her I wasn't her blind date. Someone got stood up.
YO I WASNT TRYING TO MAKE A PASS AT YOU.... Or Jesus
I spent three hours in the ER last night to figure out that my friend just had to take a shit
also I was promised more toga parties by popular media
Apparently when cookies are around I think of myself as a puppy and reward myself for everything #WhoIsAGoodBoy
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