What do you say about some mid-afternoon anal?
she took out her dip, threw up, and put it back in. it was like a scene from Nick and Nora's trip to the trailer park.
Very hungover, bought a newspaper and found my shorts from last night in the machine.
That was around the time you tried to kick me out for being rude to your fish.
If we both stop thinking about your penis for just a moment, we'd realize it is important and good that you are spending quality time with your family
I think he pocket dials me so much because I'm in his phone as 'Air Mattress'
I feel awful
Physically or morally
Physically. The only immoral thing I did was steal money from strippers while they gave me lapdances.
Just successfully went through airport security with shrooms. It's gonna be a fucking awesome new years
You just sat there and yelled "I JUST WANT TO RUB MY NIPPLES"
There's a picture of you on facebook laying in the street with 3 cops standing over you after you faceplanted off that guy's shoulders.
Is that what happened to my face?!
I feel like our lives always have been and always will be a never ending drunken rampage full of pregnancy scares and lost brain cells
No you don't understand. This tree is really alive. Like in Pocahontas.
He fell into the beer pong table and broke it. Then he threatened to throw the toliet at us if we didn't let him keep playing
we're forecasting high levels of inebriation into the evening with dropping temperatures late at night
i want to say his dick was in it but not his heart
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