He keeps looking? I tried to shag. I invited him to this table but he went to ze other one! If he shaves his 'tache I would totally hit it.
escape the fate? dumbest band name ever. how about escape the fart. now that is a show i would go see!
question. what would be the least awkward way to ask your one night stand if he came inside of you because you would really prefer not to have his illegitimate lovechild. hypothetically.
YOU CAN RENT MIDGETS ON CRAIGS LIST
I told you not to ruin your birthday surprise!
i am YELPING strip clubs. This is interesting.
how can i incorporate a boy scout uniform into what i do tonight?
You'd be proud of me. They tried to give me bread to sober up, but I told them no, im on a diet.
He ran into the room yelling "attack! Attack!", jumped on top of me on the air mattress, popped the air mattress, and then we had victory sex, because he was proud of popping it.
Hey remember that night when you sang Fergie to me? I think that's the exact moment in time when the thought "I could be faithful to this man" came into serious consideration.
Someday, but I will be heavily drugged and there will be no dolphins.
Whenever I think to myself, "I don't work for a bunch of hours"... It's shot time?
When Pony by ginuwine plays I pretty much just grind on the nearest penis.
Just gave my pregnant cat a safe sex talk. That high.
That is was cool to fuck the single mother accross the street until every girl i bring home gets the car keyed.
3 words: harry potter burlesque. My life is so much more awesome than yours right now.
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