i think he might wanna be bffs again, but idk cause we're friends again but we haven't been bff since like a year. i don't know what to think...
wow. what a nail bitter. i need popcorn for this. brb
lets hang out tonight and do stupid stuff.
Dating you for 6 months was stupid enough. But thanks.
you were so high you were expressing yourself in action figures
Just ate cheeseit crumbs off the floor. i feel like Kirstie Alley.
I'm sitting in front of the mirror eating cereal and pondering how my boobs got so big
Welcome to my life
we need a dd. For wednesday. At lunch. What are we doing with our lives?
succeeding
I'm still not completely convinced I'm not pregnant. I just dipped beef jerky in cream cheese frosting.
Listening to my boss get blown in the next room by a male bartender from the gay bar. And watching pawnstars. Tell me I'm not the best wingman ever.
You get drunk and try to bury your girlfriend in the sand JUST ONCE and all hell breaks loose
It's still to early in our relationship to tell her I was sleeping in my car
Thanks so much for having me, I'm really sorry that I almost caused your dog to catch on fire and also for breaking your doorknob
Life if anyone rolls up to my funeral with shitty weed get them out of there
His mom wants to come see the dorm.
Hide the whip.
Woke up with a throbbing vagina and a lesbian in my bed. Then for the hell of it we had morning sex. Definitley bisexual now
Stranded. In bathroom stall. No toilet paper. I repeat NO TOILET PAPER! Assistance needed asap. GO! GO! GO!
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