oh good, I think they're gone
the painters?
my herpes
feel weird hangin out with you now that i've eaten your sister out
i think the whole apartment complex could hear you beating off last night
We were sexting and then the radio announced robert pattinson would be playing kurt cobain in a movie and it totally killed the mood
Well we didn't hook up. Maybe from his girlfriend's point of view, but not mine.
Oh, and my friends believe you should reimburse me for the brazilian that was gone to waste.
Someone just got kicked out of the mall for being dressed like a giant cat. I feel like this is in your future.
just peed in rthe mens room but seranaeded them with adelle the whole timee so they didnt mind
You should photoshop their heads on tigers first!!
For my parents' annivery card? How high are you?
I was woken up in my old house by the new residents ... I don't even have a Key anymore
Find me a cup with a lid so I can illegally drink in your car. I'll be there in bout 10 minutes.
Kids parked next to me are getting it on. I'm eating chicken nuggets listening to Kanye alone. Happy Valentine's Day.
Unless your apology includes a 20 something with loose morals and a daddy complex, I'm am not interested
Scary. I hope people take me seriously. Maybe I should black out less to be sure
She’s a Vegas 8, which makes her an Oklahoma 27
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