Sometimes I wish there were a little bird hiding that would periodically go, "creep-per."
He did a double fist pump when he discovered the Magnums fit and skipped back towards the bed.
wasted. watching meteors, awesome idea i ever had, see 2 for every 1 with ma double vision
So the coke mirror was perfectly angeled at my face right when i woke up this morning. I now know how I'd look on intervention.
just saw someone whip out a flask during lecture... I think I found a study partner
I need a good reason NOT to eat this entire jar of nutella right now
I'm sorry I make you whore yourself out to him everytime I'm drunk and want mcdonalds.
When this bachelor party is over and your life is in ruins, you have my permission to die.
Im hitting on this chick at a stoplight when all the sudden. i notice this chick blowing some dude in the backseat.
He's beautiful. His facial hair makes me wanna cum in it
Ew, no. But yeah I feel the same
the kid next to me in math class is drawing gay porn. it's good, but that is beside the point
I think I just figured out how to make weed tea in the coffeemaker.
You guys are like the reason that ketamine is a controlled substance.
If I get my period the weekend your parents are gone i'm removing my uterus.
Dude no i feel my liver disintegrating
Randomize
