You took all of my sister's dolls and threw them out the window and then you started talking to her etcha sketch and mr. potato head. I later found you passed out in front of Toy Story and it all made sense.
On a scale of one to trashy, how is this: Got drunk, gave a guy a hand job. In the middle of the bar
I think you broke the trashy scale
I learned his name tonight. This now makes him a real person. Obviously, I no longer want to sleep with him.
this is hardly the first time i've been told i'm dressed "too suggestively" for 7 in the morning.
I just watched a girl in the library pull a vodka bottle out of her bag. I think I'm going to give her my number.
something had to give and with her weight the coffee table never stood a chance
I think this breakup is Gods way of telling me I deserve a bigger dick
If we break up, I want weekend visitations with your penis.
Lets just fuck. We'll decide if it was makeup or breakup sex after.
What not to say at an interview: i can wrap the shit out of some food.
This chick at the gym, just informed me I was super funny this weekend. Especially when I untied her friends bikini top after throwing up in the women's restroom. SWEET black out chronicles has another story
Like my new perfume? It's a combination of Fireball, sex and bad decisions.
Hungover playing piano at a baptism I am the PICTURE of class I feel like I should be struck by lightning
Is it too soon for me to wonder what sex with him would be like?
Considering who their parents are, maybe you should use vodka for the baptism.
Randomize
