why is it impossible to run with a back pack without looking like a giant d-bag?
haha... you gave me a great visual of you in high white socks running with a backpack with eye of the tiger playing in the background
that only happened once.
Just got my period. I'm not pregnant with Scott's child and I won't be having any sex tonight. This must be what they mean by bittersweet.
just saw a DUI checkpoint outside of a taco bell...i feel like thats cheating...
I love seeing the creepers that friend request me outside of facebook. its like seeing a unicorn in the middle of campus.
I was working er so they smashed a vodka bottle over dan's head so they'd have an excuse to visit
dude my 8 year old cousin is allowed to drink wine coolers. as long as its infront of my aunt. wtf
Cocaine Wednesdays have to stop turning into no work Thursday
found a cell phone. in the freezer. wrapped in bologna. explain?
I feel like "stop licking my face" isn't something that needs to be repeated twice
i need to stop celebrating other people's birthdays like they are m own.. my body can't handle a birthday every week
I just looked at your pics on Facebook....there was cake? Where the fuck was I!?
Bless her heart. Her stupid, drunk, adderall-ed heart.
Well anyways I still cant believe I don't remember such a monumental day in history as you showing me your boobs... Jesus
got a blowjob in the bar bathroom, got arrested for public intoxication, and found a big bag of weed on the ground on my walk home from the station. my friday night could have been a movie
I'm going to start charging you rent if you keep leaving your random conquests on my living room couch the morning after
Randomize
