So my roomate was sunbathing this morning on the porch with a sock covering his penis
Sounds like a really classy character....
He is classy. It was argyle.
she looked like the bat from fern gully.
i was sitting in the back seat of her car with her boyfriend while she was driving. it was pretty awkward, but i dont think "so my dick's been in your girl's mouth too" was a good ice breaker
Well, ive pounded a baby into a stripper and a girl who was on jerry springer, a 16 year old is logically next.
There's going to be a pool, lightsabers and alcohol. What could go wrong?!
damn. i can't believe how fast that went from 0 to lesbian
There were four people in the car. The girls sure know how to blow. I think we almost crashed when the driver climaxed.
Just casually ripping a bowl in the chicken coop, with the chickens. NBD
He kept singing Happy Birthday to himself, yelling at the bouncers for not letting him in, and telling them his "father will hear of this." He was like a drunken Scottish Draco Malfoy.
Holy Hangover.. I'm marrying whoever put this water by my bed
There is a dude riding on one of those standing wheel things inside forever 21. Calm down.
No i dont need a babysitter i have my cats. Cats can dial 911 ya know
Dude I had sex with her and she STILL thinks I'm gay. I don't know what else to do.
I told him I hooked up with his best friend. And then he ate me out. I'm just THAT GOOD.
Look. All I'm saying is that if the USWNT can win a shit ton of medals and have two gay love stories with happy endings, there's still hope in this world
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