I don't get calzones all look the same but taste so different
please keep texting me so i can pretend someone likes me
vodka and carrot juice, if im gonna drink i at least got my 8 servings of vegetable
I just made a 90's Nickelodeon TV theme song power hour mix...I don't want to build it up but your head might explode
Well, we missed our public lewdness court date. Looks like were going to jail in Alabama ...
hes like the used car salesman of hook ups and closed the deal w my taking him home with me,as is,today
It was like good, clean fun, but with bodyshots.
everyone thought he was too sick to make it, but he showed up. Ten minutes in and he's doing vodka shots with nyquil chasers
trading diseases for a hangover? that's either a really good decision or a really, really bad one. we'll find out if he wakes up tomorrow
I kind of feel like BP. I'm dressed in green and absolutely horrible for the environment.
Holding a cold bottle of mikes hard lemonade against my pulverized taint....this is my Sunday night
We HAVE another bedroom, it's not like I was gunna chain you into the closet. Often.
as much as I don't like snorting drugs, I would totally be fine with someone doing a line off my ass. that's just a whole new up
I feel like I should treat myself every time I find out I'm not pregnant. Is there a pie company that delivers??
I even put my vibrators back in the bedroom instead of the coffee table. If that's not growing up then I don't know what is.
After we had sex he went to the kitchen, came back with a bag of funyuns and ate them buck ass naked in his bedroom doorway. Had no idea how to react to that one.
Randomize
