What can i say im a girl who smells like weiners.
I realized today that I should stop thinking so much with my vagina instead of my brain.
Please tell me this doesn't mean another "surprise road trip" where I spend all my money on gas and the SURPRISE destination is the abortion clinic.
But what if I pay for the gas?
normally i wouldnt have blown him but he was on dawsons creek.. i love dawsons creek.
just stole 2 cases of forties from some freshman in the woods by pretending to be a cop. that ten dollar spotlight is really turning a profit
Yeah, he said he was getting "welcome back Winnipeg Jets drunk" then puked on his jersey.
I'm not throwing down for dinner because I plan to have so much tequila I puke it up anyways. How much is a cab home?
Everything's a blur with pockets full of jello
Let's just rave with boners that last for hours
I found him in bed on a pullout couch with another dude. He had two empty puke buckets and his empty bottle of jagermeister right by his head.
You screamed "there will be blood" and punched some random guy in the face. So no, we can't go back to that bar.
He texted his hospitalized grandma while inside me, so really a perfect gentleman.
When she says 'Polish hangover cure' she just means more vodka. Don't do it.
Something about finishing sexting a guy and him going "well. I have to get ready for Passover now" really makes me rethink my life choices
What can I say, like your penis. The fact that I like the person attached to it helps too
What use have I for dignity? It just get's in the way of the really fun stuff.
Randomize
