yeah i like to chase my xanax with prozac and then viagra. you're up...and then you're UP
I have the worst wedgie. Seriously. Its horible. And there are people everywhere around me.
Slide your hand down the back of your pants and shift to the side slowly
...are you coming on to me?
Theres a note on my antibiotics that says "Do not chew or crush. Swallow whole." I think that would be a good tattoo for just above my penis.
Last nIght I drank wIth the new guy from fellowshIp & my pastor I've known sInce I was 7. It was agreed by them that I had nIce tIts. I'm not weIrded out In fact I'm flattered...
Is it wierd that I kind of wish I could hang out with Melissa Joan Hart?
just taught 3 girls from korea how to fist pump on chat roulette.
Sorry for scaring your son with my drunken animal impressions
i just spent 10 minutes talking to the lady who works at taco bell about my romantic situation.
My cat clawed my face because i tried to give it a foot massage...never doing shrooms again.
Definitely just found that pen in the microwave. What the fuck.
Maybe you can hide out somewhere she would never go. Like a counseling center or AA
Pretty sure I just puked up sand. And nothing else.
I told the person I was on the phone with to hold on while I looked for my phone. I think it's time to stop doing dabs.
Yea.. And you'll love me a whole lot more when I start letting my vagina make all the decisions..
We are so disgustingly codependent and I wouldn't have it any other way
Randomize
