Hey I don't know if you will get this but all I know is you are so beautiful to .ee and? I dare anyone to stop me me from caring for you ante so beautiful so I kid you not gorgeous iyoiu are so beautiful to me i dare som.eone too stioo you
these two guys are about to go shot for shot with syrup
now he is talking to a potato
Am I allowed to make my facebook status "loves farting in chairs"? I think it would shock every boy that I am friends with.
My 54 year old father just sent me a YouTube link on my school email titled "Walrus sucks his own dick" and then wrote in the email "I wish I were a walrus". What the fuck is wrong with my family?
I bought a 9 dollar purse from payless so if I throw up in it tomorrow, no biggie.
This is part your fault too. Don't tell me your dishes are unbreakable and not expect me to prove you wrong.
I was busy. But now I'm about to consume alcohol and chicken. We shall see where this takes us. Maybe to the moon, maybe to the floor. I have no idea.
As he was cumming he yelled "Yahtzee" then said im free to go. Thats my one night stand
Just watched a middle age white woman scream WHY DON'T YOU GO FUCK YOURSELF, HELEN?! Helen seemed absolutely scandalized.
Hot date tonight for the first time in months and I just cut my dick shaving. PRAY FOR ME.
Sorry, I gave half my brain to my thesis and the other half to mdma
YOUR MANICOTTI IS FULL OF LIES
Sorry i meant to send that to my mom
Can't talk, I'm icing "sorry I barfed on your couch" onto a cookie cake
I'm gonna go take a shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
You fucked him, didn’t you?
He showed up at my house with tacos, rum and a negative Covid test. Of course I fucked him. I’m just a simple girl that likes tacos, not Margaret Thatcher!
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