You know how I know it's Spring Break? I just passed a car with "South Padre bound" shoe polished on the back. The driver was blatantly drinking a roadie and getting road head.
I'm thinking about that time I was in a trashbag and you spray painted my hair yellow
I'm not sure how exactly, but this funeral has turned into a ridiculous night of drinking games
FOUR LOKO IS YES. SUNDAY MORNING DRUNK IS YES.
She told me that as long as she kept starring at the freckle on her arm she wouldnt throw up
sitting in the bathroom telling some girl to keep puking or she will die. while holding a beer. nursing school rocks.
Yeah got a self inflicted broken nose.
the gays at disneyland are vicious
Like really my mothers day gift is a pic of his dick
The horniest man in the world doesn't want sex as bad as I want pizza right now.
I've been continuously high for the last 48 hours, and just broke my 4th vibrator. Coincidence? FIND ME A MAN I BEG OF YOU.
I'm pretty sure ignoring the person that just sent you a picture of their boobs is bad nude etiquette.
yeah, i'm probably gonna die. still gonna be totally worth it tho
The last time I saw you, you were giving the stripper a lap dance.
Tell me you're alive little brother. And please tell me you didn't get arrested. You made no fucking sense last night in your random texts and pictures you were sending me.
Randomize
