i don't know how boys match. i think shoes & belt are the only thing. it doesn't matter. i just know if they look stupid.
I printed and framed a picture of a seagull shitting, and hung it in my house. I'm waiting to see how long it takes everyone to notice.
Fucking Canada. At least when they wake up tomorrow they're still in Canada
he met me at the airport with a welcome home sign with a grilled cheese, PBR and a blow job on it. i missed america.
there's unknown territories my dick was not made to discover
All I remember is you introducing yourself to the entire basketball team using the line "I'll show you a slam dunk."
I still havent gotten an apartment yet, so I crash random college parties...get so drunk and then sleep on their couch
I woke up this morning at 8 to my roommates still drunk, hanging out on the roof, and screaming at bikers. They couldn't figure out why they were into it.
I have a fannypack full of condoms and acid. Let's get weird.
he looks SO much like Drake, I feel like an extreme groupie every time we have sex.
Would it be inappropriate to rub one out in the gym shower? I mean, technically, I pay $80 a month to do what I want so could they really say anything?
Shower is fine. Steam room is shady. I've probably done both at one point in my life so I can't be used as a good reference.
Because nothing screams stable like yelling at a guy in a bar because last time you hooked up he stole your underwear.
i had to call him over, it was my last chance at getting some tonight
HE HAS A RESTRAINING ORDER AGAINST U!!!
it expires tomorrow
Can u pick up some lemons on the way? I have Tequila and a sore throat..I need them for both
You kept crying and I couldnt help but laugh at you, I was really high though.
Randomize
