He introduced her to the DMA meeting by saying: in the past few years i've never seen someone work so hard for so little success
Stop everything. They have oreo straws to drink milk with and then you eat the straw. I think i just got turned on by a cookie commercial.
he keeps commenting everything on my facebook. it's like he's virtually peeing on me
I Just realized that having a picture folder that says "not for mom" may give off the wrong impression to wondering eyes
i'm not going because i feel like it's just gunna be a "this is your life" who i banged this years addition
Walked into a liquor store bleeding. That kind of night.
wanna play who's drunker? I just made macaroni & cheese taco and offered it to the pizza Guy as a tip.
A burger king employee called me from your phone while you were on their bathroom floorl. Hope ur not in jail....4 realz
Swallowing. Like you said. Lions. Always.
No. I'm just saying it shows no signs of stopping. My dad was a man-whore well into his 50s.
Well my summer started by me waking up in a tube on the side of the pond this morning with 2 of my friends. So that's good..
I swear to god, my hangover cure is a green tea and a 15 minute twerkout. works every time
I LIKE NICE BOXERS OKAY!? COMBINED WITH A GLORIOUS DICK JUST MAKES THIS EVEN BETTER. WE MOVE IN TOGETHER AND THAT PIC'S GETTIN FUCKING FRAMED.
There's a baby in the strip club. I say again: THERE'S A BABY IN THE STRIP CLUB
You handed me an unpeeled grapefruit off the frat basement floor and then took a bite out of it.
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