A few issues tonight. 1) Drunk since 1pm. 2) At the bar at 4pm. 3) James brought his sister, who has enormous breasts, isnt shy about cleavage, obviously slutty, and makes me want to do things that would even have Atheists sending me to hell. However, she's wearing glitter, so all Im thinking about is Edward Cullen. Go ahead and rip up my Man Card.
Definitely locked eyes with the stripper who gave me a lapdance last night as she walked by me and into the Ann Taylor Loft in Times Square.
I have one brief flash of having his dick in my hand. that's all I remember.
Just ate applesauce I laced with percocets for dinner. I'm pretty sure my grandmother does the same thing.
I see you felt the need to carve your name in my kitchen table. thanks
Was this before, or after you took my brand new bag of shredded cheese, and "Made it rain"?
I definitely recall eating shredded cheese out of the bag while you were wearing that apron.
And a psychic told me I was pregnant and I am just so over life right now.
Legitimate logistical question....how did you pee in your duct tape dress?
I got my project done and a booty call in all before 1am. I'm a professional college kid.
Lets just say I chased with a burrito.
I'm not driving across town for three thrusts and an excuse
I want Walter White to make me a bologna sandwich while I'm chained to a support
We christened the whole apartment and fucked on the balcony. It was amazing. I'm 100% sure downtown heard me climax. Now we can unpack.
Like don't initiate a threesome when we're all watching SPONGEBOB. That's like sacrilege.
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