I won a flip cup tournbment! Why is boot and rally so hard when youre old?
of course. lets lasso hookers.
I had to use the resin knife to take the staples out of my tax return forms. Tax returns and a search warrant?
He spanked me with a plate. I'm not sure where this is going...
Nothing like all your friends getting engaged to remind you how much fun sleeping around is.
we got plastered, then made lists of anything thats ever been in our vaginas
I know. Brad is upset because he was lower on the list than "that carrot stick"
She came back in her actual cheerleader uniform. Made a bad bj tolerable.
There's always the 'not have sex with the drunk girl I just met at some party' option.
That was the plan but Tequila showed up at the party too.
He ripped off his shirt and tried to give me CPR. That damn bong.
The money is just too good to quit doing it. I'm using the same justification strippers use.
there's fuck elsewhere to go, I'll be there with 8 lbs of bronzer on my tits
I'm ashamed and embarrassed. Unless we get drunk and have random sex with people we will never see again we might lose ourselves.
Honestly it's a super power. I can try it a million different ways and nothing happens. Donnie casually says "ok this is now a toppless party" and it all kicks-off
I've had 5 hours of sleep and I still smell like sex with the Colonel. I don't appreciate spontaneity.
all i want in life is a shot and a cock is that too much to ask
Randomize
