i just turned barefoot contessa into a drinking game. everytime she uses a knife butter or salt i drink.
my 3 year old cousin just woke up screaming "IT WON'T GO DOWN!'
call of duty 2 was the straight man's twilight
just left the emergency room. condom extraction.
you puked out of a dead sleep and didnt wake up
she looks like she scalped a horse for her weave
so why was i the only one who woke up with ham stuck to my ass?
It is 9pm, let the ass parade to the bars begin
Until this weekend, a man hadn't made me orgasm since the night Obama was elected. Now THAT is change I can believe in.
Trying to take a nap and my brain decides to play "lets have flashbacks every time you blew it with a chick in college". It's a montage of stupidity and youthful inexperience. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
I just gotta say that I feel so much better now that I got some. I mean I feel like a normal functioning adult ready to contribute to society.
Honestly who turns down a free blowjob?
I woke up at 6 and was laying at the top of my stairs.
How do you tell a vegan you want him to stuff you like a turkey?
Dad is celebrating turning 45 by being drunk in a department store before two o'clock.
Randomize
