Grossest hangover story of 09: Puked in the bathtub. I was in it.
We learned about herpes today in bio. I might as well have given the lecture
My porch is a mess of peanut butter and tostitos...thanks for that.
I'm sitting in front of the mirror eating cereal and pondering how my boobs got so big
Welcome to my life
get to allyx's house asap
Ok is everything ok
Yeah, theres just lesbians
omg yes on my way
they just named my boobs. Lefty is "Guenevere" and Righty is "I claim this boob for America"
She ate the cookie then went to the emergency room. Now her fam is pressing charges. Don't people understand you DON'T steal baked goods from potheads??
when you agree to fuck a guy it does by NO means make it okay for his roommate to hide in the closet with doritos and watch
apparently my new 420 ritual is to look at the clock at 4:20 and realize i'm already too high
I screenshoted his dick pic the other day because it literally looked like a brontosaurus. Like that really tall dinosaur that eats grass. Like I wanna draw a face on it.
just hooked up with a guy ON MY CAMPUS VISIT. god only knows whats gonna happen when im actually a student
My breath smells like dick and biscuits..
I ate her out and told her she tasted like pumpkin pie. She screamed that she hated pumpkins and started to cry
The last thing I remember saying was "Tequila for all!!"
If you count the sounds from the room down the hall....that was definitely NOT the last thing that came out of your mouth.
I have filthy fantasies involving his tongue. My vagina almost exploded while he was licking that ice cream cone.
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