just come out here and I will go home with you...
i threw up in his kitchen sink and then used a measuring cup to drink water because i couldn't find a clean glass. i just threw up down the stairs. it's gonna be a long walk home.
So then I sent a pic msg of the Magnum XL box to her friend
hahaha he is wasted in math class right now and is drawing all the planets in order from the sun
my breakfast just consisted of gushers (made with real fruit!) and they're trying to tell me im not eating right?
I vaguely remember taking a shit behind the shed before I started puking over the fence. No more Xanax.
My motherly instincts are overcoming my slutty ones
She started howling at the moon. That was pretty much the deal breaker.
Rub those nipples and moan like a platypus.
Jesus, are you hammered?
Hammered for that juicy ass. I'll bring the straws.
She puked her nose ring out of her face.
Please stop hiding condoms in my house. If I want to have sex with you, I will let you know. FYI, my mom found the ones hidden behind the milk. She was not happy.
i took a picture of my dick. with a stick figure drawn on it. and a paper hat taped to the tip. and i call i the mayor of Dickville
We lost our room key and found it in his pocket with 3 pieces of fish.
It's a whole movie about Joseph Gordon-Levitt watching porn and having sex... I NEED to own it..
easy for you to say. you're not the one who has to explain why you woke up with a pineapple and a used condom.
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