i am high, trapped with a bunch of skaters and asians watching a cat on lsd on youtube, the girl on the couch next to me is getting fingered, and there is lady gaga playing. god has forgetten about me
I think I'm making progress on my commitment issues. I drunk made out with the same guy from last semester this weekend.
the fact that you could barely do more than slur incoherent sentences didn't stop you from correcting her grammar
Dude, the cops never think it's as funny as you do.
Just figured out I can wedge my iphone between my boobs so it stands up at a perfect handsfree reading angle. Clearly somebody up there wants me to smoke this bowl while I watch my bieber videos
I just want to jump into a ballpool of dicks now.
The walk of shame out of a freshman dorm isn't so bad when you're 25, nobody questions you because they think youre gonna bust them for having weed
Im making gravy in a lace bra and jeans. Just call me the southwern wet dream
Well at least you learned that cops don't like when you call them frenchy. Nice dive over the fence by the way.
My vagina loves me do-dah do-dah my vagina loves me do-dah do-dah
I picture you throwing your vagina around in the same fashion that they pass out candy at a parade.
was that the third sophomore you've banged this week?
third one in three days
I just lost my handcuff virginity and not in the sexy way.
My ex just brought my grandpa weed. Not sure how I feel about this.
She threw my purse across the room almost broke a lamp and this all started bc she forgot what an air mattress was
Who knew removing piercings would be so radical?
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