he drunkenly confessed to whacking off before coming over so the sex'd be longer. this one's a keeper
my lips still taste like vagina
so you liked breakfast?
ehh, still wish we woulda went to IHOP instead
All I did today at work was try to remember in vivid detail what your cock looks like.
that's the ideal party shoe. cute, but i can still puke in them.
i had a dream last night that my liver tore its self out of my body and ran away.
I think I just puked all over my comforter and my roomdmate won't wakt up to washc it for me
Found my puke from September encrusted to the floor under the dresser while cleaning before move out ..... Oh Freshman year
Its kinda awkward hearing him say the food taste like ass considering what he did last night.
It's always awkward in the office the day after your boss sends you a dick pic.
I put xanax in the cake batter
Did you really? It all makes sense now.
Dude true life I died at the derby...I lost everyone I knew, went down a bourbon and mud slip and slide, lost my hat, fell off the roof of a porta potty, sprained my ankle and knee and then got arrested.
What's the place called?
I searched "county" on google, but....there's a lot of results
Let us bow our heads and pray that I don't throw up in the tub
His roommates are gone so we had sex in every room of the house and watched the wire. What have you done today?
when i woke up with 300+ messages I didn't except them to be about coyotes and burning shoes.
Randomize
