i hate when u poo a lot and when u wipe theres no poopy residue on the TP. it makes me feel like my butt hole is hiding something from me. just had 2tell sum1.
I know now the amount of smoke it takes to set off the fire alarm....no longer worried about using the bong...not even close
She told me she was going to ride me so hard i would cum the ghosts of my ancestors...its gonna be a good time
If she doesn't judge me for bringing my vibrator in the tanning bed, I know she is a true friend.
Walt said he was feeding me so I wouldn't die. that's why there was pasta in my room
The cop let me finish my J before he cuffed me. Coolest arresting officer ever.
he said he needs a little more pabst, some time to jack off and a sandwich and he'll be ready
No dude, I'm not naming my kid after your beard
Under no circumstances is tits McGee to make that kind of decision about my life!
Well there's only 4 people in my class, we've watched a video, the instructors encouraged us to start using cocaine and now we are on break.
It's been productive.
I serenaded the cat in the hat for a few 90s songs but idk who he is
sometime during the night he found me in the empty hotttub singing marvins room in only my bra.
Turns out that fresh outta jail dick is quite something.
someone found a bottle of whiskey in the bushes this morning when they were cleaning before an admissions event. i'm 95% sure it's mine..
For some reason, my alarm clock was unplugged & in the kitchen microwave. I don't remember doing that...
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