I feel like dying is the new "adopt an african baby"
why the fuck does my google maps say i'm in punjab?!?!? u think it has to do with like...outsourcing?
At what point are you a chubby chaser or just desperate for sex?
I just wanna go home eat some pizza rolls, get warm and jerk off, and it's only 845. This shit was supposed to make me see unicorns. Not cry
Dont forget about the tuna sandwich behind your TV
Woaahhhh there! We are JUST drunk fucking. Don't call me "baby".
Just thought you should know that your brother tried to febreeze his floors with cooking spray last night.
If I'm going to start compromising my butthole it's going to be for much better drugs than a ventolin
I can only only sleep there on nights I orgasm cause he snores so loud and if he leaves me hanging one more time ill probably cut off his dick from lack of sleep and frustration
The airport has the best people watching and munches... It should be a destination drinking location
She got tired so now we're making anyone who has a stupid idea go into her bedroom so she can sleepslur "good idea" or "baaaad idea." We're calling her the queen of the misguided.
I have just been informed that my company has ray guns. I WORK FOR ACTUAL BOND VILLAINS. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
Seriously, you just banged the guy that wishes his dog happy birthday on fb. That's fucking adorable!
New goal find someone I love enough to use these Japanese pancake flavored condoms on
You yelled at me about a fork.
You probably deserved it, I'm very territorial about my cutlery.
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