Tell her she's as useless as a condom.
he just invited me over for the 3 p's...pepsi pizza and porn...I'm gonna marry him
Its a Guy he gets weed for. I'm kinda confused as to why there are going to even be tuxedos involved at all.
She asked the taxi driver to stop at the Texaco because she had to puke. She did then stumbled into the gas station and bought a 40.
I have had more skin than food in my mouth the last three days
okay - we take $20 and buy each other some 'drink till we puke' clothes from the thrift store.
The homeless guy who goes through my garbage cans just gave me a flyer for an AA group.
He said "you speak American pretty good for a Canadian" and it took everything in me to still fuck him. Dry spell ended btw
It probably would have happened but I just can't picture myself losing my virginity while laying on top of his Quiksilver duvet set.
mom is telling me the setting in which I was conceived
did you know we used to have a pool?
You seriously knocked all the beer off the table, broke the beer pong table, broke the bar and kept yelling "you have to warn me first!" all because I wouldn't let you have another four loco
is it acceptable to cross the border for sex?
The guy who said he's gonna suck your butthole till your face caves in is at Maggie's
I don't know. Seeing the vagina stretched out beyond normal proportions is like watching your favorite superhero die.
Ever get that feeling that you're the back up booty call and half way through securing the fake date excuse to try to get in your pants, the guy hears back from the original booty call and drops the conversation with no explanation?
Randomize
