it was like getting a handjob from mrs. butterworth
Is it possible for Craig Seger to wear a normal suit and not look like an asshole on national tv?
He told me he wouldn't do any drunk sluts but me. I guess that's sort of a compliment...?
Dude Eric's high and buying everyone taquitos. How much room do we have in the freezer?
I just want to know who nailed the chicken nugget to the door.
He used the expression "my couch is your couch" as a come on line.
You kept asking the bartender if you could "buy a dollar".
I'M SO LONELY THAT I TEXTED THE FRESHMAN
He said we would have a beautiful daughter together. That way too much for a one night stand...
Getting "I couldn't find the front door so I climbed in through window" drunk seems to be a habit of yours
I just bought a blender and 120 pizza rolls. Bring tequila.
I just got back like 5 minutes ago, I have two champagne bottles that I carried with me on the train home and a Dunkin donuts coffee cup full of stolen butter, I've been in a windowless room for the last 6 hours, time does not exist
what is your life
Free champagne that's what
You came in yelling "I'm el scorcho" and then axe can flamethrowered my dresser. Awesomeness aside, you owe me a new dresser.
I JUST WANT TO HAVE AWKWARD SEXUAL EXPERIENCES WITH HIM.
We still getting married? Or were you day drinking
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