So we made editble underwear with fruit roll ups and fruit by the foot
Dood you jacked it to warcraft. you can't come back from something like that
Just TALKING to him is better than banging my bf, imagine what actual banging will be like.
Remember that pineapple I soaked in vodka last month? Just found it- nothing is growing on it? Think it's safe?
You put Smirnoff in your grape juice and called it communion...
If she has AMC, I may have to fuck her today. I want to catch up on the walking dead.
Confirm that you received these messages so that I know you feel the agony of my vagina. There is such a thing as "too many penises".
the conference was great. we had to hide the acid in a planter in front of the department of agriculture though
I caught a glimpse of his penis. I can only imagine what your mom's vagina goes through because of that penis
I just need to get a little drunker before I realize I'm not straight
So, anyways, aside from wanting to seduce my roommate for booze, how's everything been
That's crazy. Wow that lady must be fucked up
Yeah I hope she's okay.
I'm still going to fuck her husband but I do hope she's okay.
It’s 830 am and the amount of Valentine’s Day snaps I’ve already seen makes me either want to vom, drink a bottle of wine, or buy chocolate
1000% No lie I was just looking on insta and was thinking about taking a bottle of wine to the face..
My professor congratulated me on turning my assignment in early. I didn't have the heart to tell him I only passed it in early cause my sex plans got canceled for the night.
Nothing wrong with a little cat scratch fever. You have toys?
A few, plus a dildo molded from a porn star that I've always been too intimidated of to actually use, but it's the apocalypse, and momma didn't raise no quitter.
Randomize
