i told her that she could bring as many friends as she wanted and then she asked how many people i could fit in my bed...BEST. DAY. EVERRRR.
Me liking this guy is the best diet ever. Do I want this cookie...or do I want to get laid.
we're talking about where were going. or where we stand. but yeah we'll basically be doing it in the hallway so just ignore us
i wiped a booger on my final. end of semester present.
Just passed a strip club with a Marquis sign that said 'tis the squeezin'
So for a second i just thought clitoris was a disease.
whatever, you made your decision to be a responsible student and where did it get you? a pushed back exam and no blowjob.
I found her in the bathroom licking her screwdriver off the floor. she said there was no way she was wasting a $6 drink.
The guy in the cast riped the tap off the keg and hit steve with it
We have 10 gallons of home brew. And james has an amazonian blow dart weapon that sticks in bags and the wall. Come over
I walked in on you rubbing your nose all over his face while straddling him and yelling "I'M SO SORRY!" repeatedly. I'd say you were in pretty good shape at that point in the night.
Keywords: shitstorm, police, jail.
You started crawling towards a moving train. Maybe you should take it easy next time
if i ever get to the point where i am moaning when i pee, please do the honorable thing and kill me.
Nothin much, just sipping warm franzia from a plastic valentines wine glass while wrapped in my Mexican blanket listening to sappy country songs and mourning my lack of a love life. Hbu?
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