she told me she was pregnant in a never have i ever game
you went to subway and got pissed when they refused to deep fry your sub
You are like a prophet. It's amazing how many people you convince to be lesbians.
We left the house and she said "let's go dick hunting" theres no way last night was gonna end up well
she said she was living bicuriously through me.
I'm at Home Depot to get supplies to fix the wall we cracked by fucking too hard against the bookshelf.
The AC broke so he ended up sleeping in the front yard and left his one night stand on the couch.
There is a bottle of ciroc waiting graciously on my breakfast table. It's almost a sign for me to live up to my Russian blood.
Well, no one has ever described you as a perfectly balanced individual
Using our apartments online floor/space planner to see how many beer pong tables we can fit. Dont think they had this in mind when they put this thing online.
Probably not lol but were fitting as many as possible
Just wanted you to know two things, 1st I sent the second thing to a broad ive been talking too. 2nd that was not just a fart.
Happy Halloween!! Last Halloween we spent together you got brought home in a shopping cart
Can't really tell your Mom you are moody due to dick deprivation.
I accidently sent a dick pic to the group chat with her family. Right after they all said it was a pleasure having me for dinner. Wana drink with me?
Unless your name is actually "Ticfj" like my phone says, I have no idea who you are...
Randomize
