i feel like his penis is a security blanet. i cant fall asleep unless its in my hand
I guess our biggest consolation is that we haven't woken up in a hottub with a dead dude. Yet.
Climbing through a window thats four feet off the ground isnt the easiest thing when youre high, trust me.
So the bump is from hitting my head in an elevator. Apparently I dived into a cab head first too.....
more embarrassing than that time i showed up to class in my hoodie and leggings because i over slept, and then as i zipped my hoodie down i realized i didn't sleep with a bra on or a shirt
Btw he dated my mom. You're Eskimo siblings with my mom. Good job.
I'm taking tokes in the bath tub, come if you want, I'm naked and you have to bring chicken nuggets or else you can't come in
I still don't like him. I'm also filled with alcohol, so I'll revisit the statement in the morning.
In the liquor store when a straight girl and a gay guy were just arguing about who hooked up with the same guy first.
I was telling everyone at the frat that they had to try the "fantastic refreshment" that was everclear, vodka and country time
So much Jack, so little girl.
Hey do you remember me?
You were a giant banana.... how could I forget.
just played fuck the dealer and thunderstruck with my physics ta. he is the third ta that i have drank with this semester, i think i'm getting good at college
we found her. shes in the bathtub full of raw pasta. i dont even know...
So, I think think I left my underwear at your house. Well...not exactly your house but your roof.
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