Why do all fat girls have "that smell"?
does my mom think that having an ed hardy lighter is going to get her laid?
i was so drunk he made me beileve the song was called "thanksgiving sex."
okay so i know you are missing your wallet but at least its not your tooth. i am missing my tooth.
He kept singing "who's that peekin in my window" we thought he was high til we realized someone was lookin in the windows.
They both invited me to family dinner Sunday. Secretly dating two sisters just got real.
My boss just called me for legal advice. What has my life become?
Part of me was thinking I should go old school and get a chasity belt before the semester starts. Really lock that shit down. But then I thought, fuck that. I'm going to hit that campus like an f5 whorenado
I remember it because it was right after the sadness and right before the sluttiness. The calm before the storm if you will
Just to update you. I am dead. So your probably gonna have to find a new roommate
Huh interesting. Well thats too bad. Did he catch on?
I doubt it. After sex he sat there naked until the episode of fresh prince (which had JUST started) was over.
I ran into my parents house and stole a bottle of vodka last night...Apparently left them a note that read "DRUNK. TOOK VODKA. BRING MORE."
Some girl just ordered Chinese delivery to her therapy appointment...
I haven't listened to news as I've been having lesbian sex all night. Anything new?
He had been licking my nipple for like 5 minutes and it wouldn't get hard. He asked me to lick my own and when I did, instant hardness. I realized I'd rather have sex with myself then this guy ..
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