I think my penis and your vagina just became best friends last night.
so i turned around to do some reverse cowgirl when he said that this was such a better visual for him. Bad compliment or serious insult. i cant tell
Chick took off her bra in the middle of class cuz it was "too hot." How's going out of state feel now?
Ihop lady gave me free pancakes for being sober this time
He snuck into my grandmothers house, broke her lamp, fucked me, then had breakfast with us the next morning. I am an awful granddaughter.
thinking back, the fact that our bartender was missing a finger shouldve been hint number one not to let him pick our drinks
I wish we could skip the pretense of being normal and just start drinking wine with breakfast
He rode my dog to the bathroom and wouldn't stop laughing once he got in. It was scary.
You then proceeded to tell me how good of a cook you were and put raw cookie dough in the champagne.
I remember seeing his penis I just dont know exactly what I did with it
I made the jerking off hand motion to my mother by accident this morning. It was awkward for everyone involved.
I'm sure it's not the worst thing to ever come out of my ass
Saw a dude last night at a strip club's bar eating canned pineapple and giving tootsie pops to the girls...
Just got my LSAT score...if you need me I'll be drunk in a ditch somewhere.
I am cleaning melted cheese out of my hair. This is a new experience for me
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