At a stoplight watching a woman push groceries in a stroller while dodging oncoming traffic... Reallllly Detroit?
Do you relize what downtown will be like this week? Like open season. But instead of deer its hot baseball players from all over the country that we'll never have to see again. I swear the college world series is a gift from god.
I don't drink so I see St. Patty's as an LSD type of day. Its like a more hardcore 420
Lets be real here, you loved it when I was on top. With and without the machete.
I would let Bear Grills repel down a waterfall using my dick if I could go to sleep right now.
Just found out my rents have been paying my siblings to cockblock me for the past 5 years
Not as covert as you thought huh?
His hair looked like he was in a bukaki and then got a perm right after
I have the WORST cramps EVER. I think this is gods way of saying 'you're welcome, last warning. stop being a slut.'
if youre gonna throw up it might as well taste like christmas :S
Update: they told me I was twerking to twenty one pilots
Look, all I'm looking for is a good time and someone whose chest I can bury my face in
You squatted and peed on the living room floor while maintaining eye contact with Sebastian
If I'm gonna have a rotation of guys, I really should stop them leaving boob bruises...
You're up at 3AM, right? I have a very important question.
You know the Wendy's on route 6, by Kohls? Do you know if it has a drive through?
Yes it does.
No, not if I told them not to. they listen to me. I have a vagina.
Randomize
