I saw him coke blaxckout on the subway at 9 this morning yelling at people callig himself the gatekeeper.
I came so hard that my back seriously popped like 5 times.
I smell like fire and strippers. Successful sunday funday.
They better compete for your attention. Dual to the fuck
I can't wait for paintbang. I'm going to throw a marker at a child. There will be bail money in my backpack in m trunk. Don't use it on beer.
I woke up to him pissing in their fireplace with fairy wings on.
You have my approval. I will dance and throw skittles at your funeral.
I am stoned and listening to the Olympics music I downloaded on Saturday. Best 6 dollars I have ever spent.
She sat next to me on the couch and said "word going around is you got a sweet cock". My nickname problem was solved!
Attempted to dodge my boyfriends cum last night and ended up falling off the bed and getting the worlds most painful charlie horse. fuck my life.
She didn't complain to the library attendant about us being too loud. She complained after you grabbed her highlighter off the table to stir vodka into your tumbler with.
Stop talking and go back to bed. You're in the kitchen in your underwear and slept in your car.
Sorry I steam cleaned at 1:30 in the morning and that i'm such a drunk dumb child. On the bright side, my carpet has ever looked better.
You'll be pleased to know I just had an elaborate day dream about your penis. you were there too.
I had a dream that I was smoking rasberries out of a bong. THEY WEREN'T EVEN DRIED...
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