Well whatever you do have, it sure worked on me.
A Penis?
he must have thought the song was "ejacuate on the dance floor"
he got mad when I told him his flaccid penis looked like a sleeping kitten
He just showed me a video of his erect penis moving to the beet of the music when he was high, I think I'm in love.
You can't break up with me and ask me for a handjob on the same day. At least not in that order.
Everyone is slow dancing to Aerosmith. I am serenading a slice of pizza.
You are not allowed to borrow my car ever again. It smells like a hobo orgy happened in my backseat with a hint of onion. What did you do.
No it's okay, we're just driving to random places with the portable stripper pole and causing a ruckus.
Oh that's normal
Well that was the first and last time I've had to write "divorce party" on a request time off form. I'm throwing it for my mom. What is my life turning into.
I think he knows I took a picture of him. Why I don't get punched in the face more often is anyone's guess.
Morning! Im using your rent money to snort percocet.
What's the policy on calling guys who have kids daddy...
using my tits for other peoples nudes hit me up business in the making
my underwear is inside out , I have a giant hickie. I'm wearing last nights makeup. this is going to be the best day at work ever
Y’all did coke off my Puff The Magic Dragon plate.😂
Randomize
