I think I left something in your back seat.... It was my integrity
Pretending to care to care about playoffs in exchange for free shots. I'm sorry in advance.
the ceiling is raining jello shotss
Dude Eric's high and buying everyone taquitos. How much room do we have in the freezer?
It's not my fault you have a job and can't get drunk on Tuesday's. Don't take your frustrations out on me!
I have a gyno appt today. I hate it when the Army gets involved with my vagina.
This is Jewish guilt versus Irish Catholic guilt. We should tread carefully, or we could fuck up the space-time continuum or something.
I'm okay with that.
I'm so confused as to where the sexual euphemisms end and the drinking starts
Went into Walmart to get a pregnancy test. Came out with a beta fish and chocolate.
Should I get the rainbow boxer breifs???
As your boyfriend, this is a level of gay that even I can't handle.
Got home. All the lights were on. All the doors were unlocked. My room was covered in beads, there's puke in the sink and of course our toilet is still broke. I'd say it was a decent Mardi Gras
Mom and dad should be so proud half of their children have gotten naked in the same local grocery store
I just got CPR certified, don't make me need these skills so soon
...hi
YOU SHOULD BE ASHAMED OF YOURSELF
Ok cool I was afraid you'd never speak to me again. I can work with this.
Anytime you wish.we are doing double shots in the kitchen,and I drank a beer in the shower,so...the sooner you get here,the sooner you can get on our level.
Randomize
